Part Two
For nine months of 1969, I was drunk most of the time,
self-medicating, hoping to silence a vicious demon.
At the university, I studied walkers, runners,
rock climbing, landscapes (with houses and without);
sidewalks, clouds, bones, music, rocks, sonic booms,
searing desert sunlight, and once a day I recited Desiderata.
I loved being the random university student.
I had good friends and took whatever classes I wanted.
But the sixties were full of rampage, riots, kidnapings,
church bombings and assassinations, and Vietnam.
It was as if the times were conspiring to destroy
what little was left of everyone’s innocence.
A few of us ran naked at Gate’s Pass and at Mt. Lemmon.
On a dare, I streaked on the university campus.
My girlfriend was French and wonderfully assertive,
but stalked me for a month for breaking up with her.
Classical music remained my source of solace;
rock and roll kept me in the groove of things.
The Navy saved me from the train wreck that was home,
but after that, I feared the volatile nature of my anger.
For two chaotic years I lived in a kind of feral panic,
thinking that would make up for my abused childhood.
But no, it doesn’t work that way, not at all.